Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

work and meaning of life

February 13, 2009

Schrödinger's cat

Schrödinger's cat


So how can we see work, in whatever boring form, as practice, like in a meditation retreat? So how do I carry my attitude of peace/acceptance into a job?
More practice, keep trying, everyday, fake it till you make it?

No. I can’t.

Because retreat is a withdrawal from the everyday place to a special place, so just like the sides of the rail-track, both places can never meet i.e. I can’t attend to a deadening dead-end job for long.

To me, attending retreat is special ‘cos my priority, before I kick the can, is to know the Truth, my true self, God or Whatchamacallit and I reckon retreats are good places to be open to it.

Whereas at the workplace, I would question my motive; are you doing this for the moolah or for your ego or both, why are you doing this… ad nausem, barking up every tree.

One of the reasons why I left jobs is that I don’t want to be in a rut. If I were to continue doing boring, unchallenging work, then I am not true to myself. I do not make time to realise my potential. And time is your life, btw.

Then I would have failed myself. I say, you can be a success in the eyes of the world and yet deep down, you feel a failure because you didn’t dare to strike out, to draw out the budding talents to bloom in all its glory… or not.

You condone the ordinary and the mundane at your own expense – you sold out, you have sold yourself short.

Stand up for your whatever you want to do, even if you fail to achieve ‘success’ as defined by you or others. Yeah, you might struck out ‘cos you are ‘not good enuff’.

I say it’s okay because you get to enjoy the process, hence you are at peace with yourself.* So if you want to do something, do it even if you suck at it.

The journey, not the end, matters because your life IS the journey. And you want to savour the journey.

*This advice is for those who have settled their bread and butter issues. Remember Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, if your stomach’s growling, peace don’t come easy, for most. And you have to test your threshold.

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Seoul Diary – Work

February 12, 2009

Seoul Lost

Seoul Lost


Dongdamun girl lost in her own world, just like us. Does she want to be there directing traffic? Well, it’s a job and under this harsh economic condition, work’s a comfy blanket.
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Not far away in Taipei 101, tallest tower in Taiwan, pretty, young lift operators in the departmental store grin like marionettes as they punch elevator numbers. Is that the most boring job in the world?

How about the work of semi-conductor factory operators peering into microscopes sussing out the chips?

Or is YOUR job a close competitor to the title? In a boring, unchallenging job, you are on auto-mode and your mind’s a trillion kilometres away.

However, why do I, restless and easily bored, come alive at meditation retreats? The centers have the same rigid schedule throughout the three weeks and yet I wanna be there forever. What gives?

I conclude : because of mind, my perception. In a retreat, I paid to be there. Just be-ing there is enough, no reasons needed. Well, a chance to know my true nature; enlightenment or whatever, after nearly 30 years, still hankering after it – probably, at the back of my mind.

At the retreat center, I am at one with my practice, as much moments as possible, restraining myself from taking on additional repair projects outside of work period.

So the days passed by well and easily. Solitary, wonderful moments are aplenty; mainly appreciating the art in nature. Beauty in a sunflower, miracle designs of an aged leaf.

In normal city life, I don’t have these moments.

Hmm, it‘ll be great to integrate those nature moments outside of retreat because everyday life is also practice life.

Life’s a bowl of salad

February 11, 2009
Here's to good healthy breakfast - salad with Asian Dressing

Here's to good healthy breakfast - salad with Asian Dressing

Life’s a bowl of salad, especially when you don’t enjoy eating salad and you are lost, not sure what to do with your life. You want to write but ‘fraid you can’t hack it. You are blocked, there’s no passion to write. Oh no, when you first left your last job, your aim was to live happily ever after, to give vent to your creativity and let a thousand ideas flow. And now it’s zilch.

You read and read – other people’s stuff, not yours and do nothing else.(Inner voice says: That’s fine) You can spend your whole life reading and not living. What is living? Does it mean to work at a freaking job or …be in a retreat?

Are you retreating from life, either way?

Why is it difficult to tear away from what the rest of the herd is doing and just be? Under pressure from my mom to work but I don’t want to succumb to that. I want to be free not to work. Yes, money’s running out but not yet, not yet minus. I see my mother’s point of view, she wants me to have a financial buffer, money in the bank and be like everybody else, but I want to listen to my inner voice.

Maybe I haven’t got the courage to write, hence this blog, for starter.

My salad dressing recipe, Asian :

4 tablespoon Yoghurt with fruit, 2 tablespoon classic coleslaw dressing(Kraft, ‘cos no preservative), drooling, dried flaky white preserved(lotsa preservatives) lime peel bits that makes salad tastes tolerable and Asian and a dash of honey or prune juice. Add nuts and cranberry bits(cut up finely, else too sickly sugary).